La Cucina Olandese

Because of the financial crisis in Europe, meeting Italians in Rotterdam is easy.  They seem to be everywhere around the city, working in pizzerias, looking for work in pizzerias or just getting bombed off their tits at the "Coffee Shops".  Within a few minutes the conversation with an Italian always turns to food and just how bad the food is here in the Netherlands compared to Italy.  With this in mind I decided to write a couple of lines about some of the typical Dutch dishes some quite palatable and some that induce vomiting.

Kaas

Cheese (Kaas) in is eaten by everyone, young and old.  Maybe that's why the two main types of these are the Jong and the Oud.  The cheese is quite nice and inoffensive but certainly lacks the balls of a Grana Padano or Gorgonzola.  Like Cliff Richard compared to the Led Zepp.

Kaas

Vis

The fish (vis) is definitely the highlight of the cuisine of the coastal areas of the Netherlands.  Some people get so excited about how good the fish is that they can't even wait to cook it and instead just lightly salt it and eat it with just enough onions to hide the fact that they are in fact eating bait.

Haring - Haute Cuisine or  Bait

Kipkerrie

Pre-packaged little containers of re-constituted food products mixed with Mayonnaise  are a big hit in Holland.  Kipkerrie (Curried Chicken and Mayo) is my favourite but you can also get eggs and mayo, tuna and mayo, celery and mayo and prawns and mayo.  mmm Lekker!

Goed Koop!

Filet Americain

For those who don't like eating raw fish or mayonnaise there is always Filet Americain.  This is raw meat blended to a pulp and served with onion. Surprisingly quite nice.

Filet Americain

Karnemelk

Whereas I thought "Karne" was the Dutch word for "Carnia", an area in the Alps famous for its dairy products, the closest translation is that Scottish word "minging".  Made by leaving a carton of perfectly good milk in the sun for a month, Karnemelk is the ideal remedy If you've ever had difficulty making yourself vomit.   

Be Warned -  This is not milk from Carnia !

Kapsalon

Litterally "Barbershop" in Dutch, this dish was invented by the Turkish barbers of Rotterdam to keep their patrons entertained while they waited to get their moustaches trimmed.  This Turko-Dutch take on the Lasagne consist of 4 layers; Chips, Kebab Meat, Cheese and Lettuce.  Best eaten while shit-faced.  

Kapsalon